Elimination Communication: Going Diaper Free!
We have had a lot of questions about Diaper Free and whether you can do it part-time. Here is our part-time EC story. Learn about going Diaper Free at Milagros on Wednesday, February 16, at 2pm:
When Mila was an infant moons and moons ago, we had some friends who were Diaper Free. Those words sounded radical and, well, crazy to us. But then we learned what it really meant for that family. They were paying attention to their daughter’s cues, and getting into a rhythm with her, knowing, almost sensing really when she would need to go to the potty. I will admit, it took meeting a few more families who were practicing Elimination Communication before we began to think it may not be so crazy after all.
Before the birth of our second child, Gael, I attended a talk given by Ingrid Bauer (author of Diaper Free! The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene) and felt amazed to learn that in so many countries, being in tune with the child that you care for is really quite the norm. In China many infants wear pants that are split at the seam in the groin area, so that one can easily help a baby eliminate into a potty. And in India, care givers hop off of the bus at stops to let the babies go potty while there is opportunity.
By the time Gael was born we knew several families who had practiced Elimination Communication. We decided when he was born that we were open to giving it a go, and felt that we could be relaxed about it. Being diaper free didn’t have to truly mean having no diaper on if we were headed to the grocery store. We could have an all in one on the little fella and take it off as needed, but if we missed that was okay. There was always next time, and at least there was something to catch that miss. We found Ms. Bauer’s book helpful, as well as Infant Potty Basics by Laurie Boucke.
We realized that Gael would always pee right after snoozing, and would often fret right before needing to eliminate during times that he was awake. I would try him on the little plastic potty whenever it seemed I should, and I will admit that sometimes I would just sort of “feel” that he needed to go. And if I didn’t listen to myself, he did indeed go in his diaper.
He was a cute little guy on that potty. And to be honest I felt rather giddy when we would “catch” his eliminations. When he was a few days old Mila told him, “Do you need to go poop? Don’t worry, you’ll be potty-trained soon.” I even have a photo of my sister grinning as she successfully pottied Gael.
Again, we didn’t practice full time. When our boy was a few months old he began teething something fierce, and the pain would lead him to cry often. I had relied on his crying cue to let me know when he needed to go to the bathroom, and now more often than not he was upset due to pain in his mouth. As the weeks passed we practiced less and less. However it didn’t feel that our time was in vain. Every time that he used the potty that was one less diaper to wash, and one more time that we were in tune with him and he was in tune with himself.
In the summer we allowed a Gael to be a little naked fellow in the backyard. He was several months old and it just didn’t feel like a big deal if he peed on the deck. The next summer was similar, and that Winter he completely potty learned. He was 2 years old, which certainly isn’t unusual. But what felt different compared to Mila potty learning and from watching other children we knew, was that Gael seemed to pick it up really quick. He already knew he preferred to be dry, and we weren’t anxious about him accidentally peeing on the hardwood floor. We would clean it up, knowing that this time of learning wouldn’t last forever.
I think that our time with Elimination Communication was valuable, and it certainly made the transition to underwear easier, even though we hadn’t practiced E.C. in a while.
I mostly loved that I felt really in tune with my boy, truly getting in touch with my motherly instincts and listening to my gut about what he might need right then. If I could do it all again, I would, but I would pay more attention to learning other cues that my baby would give when needing to use the potty. They can change their expression and if they cry as a cue, the cry might differ from other cries. I think we would have benefitted from my knowing more specifically what his cry was like, because I really felt that the crying that accompanied his teething threw our diaper free world for a loop.
We are always happy to share our tale with anyone, and highly recommend attending the Diaper Free Baby meetings in the Family Room at Milagros Boutique on the third Wednesday of each month, from 2 to 3 pm. It was really great to meet other families interested in E.C., practicing E.C., and was invaluable in making me feel successful even if we didn’t make it to the potty every time. You can define your own success, with Elimination Communication.
Photo: Gael age one month going on the potty
